Infrequently Asked Questions

Welcome to the super-secret webmaster IAQ! Below you'll find a handful of infrequently-asked questions and answers regarding the technical underpinnings of Aprilynne's website. I'm not kidding when I say these are infrequently asked; most people will find this all quite boring. But if you're the sort to contemplate CMS distros and debate the merits and demerits of competing hosting providers, this one's for you.

Q: Who are you?

A: I am Aprilynne's husband. If you're interested in a more robust answer, you can check out my website.

Q: What are you doing here?

A: I'm the webmaster.

Q: Your website says you're a philosopher or a lawyer or something.

A: Yes, but that's not what I'm doing here.

Q: GoDaddy sucks.

A: That's not a question.

Q: I'm so 1337 that I c4n't help but notice you're h0st3d on GoDaddy's $hared hosting servers. Why d0n't u use a real hosting provider |ike Dr34mH0$+ or put a data cent3r in ur hall cl0$et or s0me7hing?

A: Actually, I find it dreadfully convenient to keep domain name registrations and hosting services all in the same account. Thus far it hasn't caused any functionality problems, and since I used to work for GoDaddy I'm most familiar with their services. Hopefully someday we'll need a dedicated server or two, but until then, what you see is what we've got.

Q: What's 1337?

A: Don't worry about it. Seriously--if you don't already know, the answer will just erode your faith in humanity. (I kid, I kid. Remember, folks, DDOSers are people, too! Well, except for the ones that are bots.)

Q: This website looks awfully familiar...

A: I'm most comfortable building websites using an open-source Content Management System known as Drupal. I modified Matteo Leoni's Marinelli theme to Aprilynne's specifications. It's a very impressive theme, and Drupal is a very impressive program, so doubtless you've encountered them before.

Q: Well, at least the pictures are original.

A: Yes, they are. The ones that aren't done by professionals (like Aprilynne's portrait and covers) I took with my 3.2 MegaPixel Canon PowerShot S1 IS. The 10x optical zoom was fabulous. Alas, it is broken now.

Q: Why isn't there a forum here?

A: Well, we certainly haven't ruled out the possibility of including one here. But for now, I recommend you check out the fan forums listed in the main FAQ.

Q: Okay, but since you're using Drupal to prop up your shoddy web programming skills, can't you at least enable commenting?

A: No. Aprilynne and I are very big proponents of free speech, but this site needs to remain family-friendly. If no one can post comments, I don't have to feel guilty about censoring them.

Q: Will you make me a website?

A: No.

...like I said--infrequently asked...